Saturday, May 21, 2011

This gross life

WARNING: If you are easily disgusted, or just don't care to hear about the particulars of my absolutely gross life over the past 24 hours, stop reading now.

I hesitate to post this on the interwebs, but there have just been too many really gross things that have happened in my life in less than 24 hours to NOT document this somewhere. And since this is my only method of you go. I promise there are no pictures in this post!

First, a brief bit of background. Where we live, we have a septic system, which means (among other things) that I am not allowed to flush certain personal items that I always used to flush. I think you know what I mean here, right? These items instead need to go in the trash can, as much as it grosses me out to do so. Also, my dog, Kinnick, has a history of getting into items with a certain odor (i.e., laundry baskets, trash cans, etc.) when no one is home. I do my best to remember to put things out of his reach when I leave the house, but, it doesn't always happen.

So, last night, he got into the bathroom trash can and – let's just say – he ate most of the absolutely disgusting contents while we were out. He also left a a mess in his wake (blood-stained carpet and other debris) for us to clean up. Yuck #1.

(On a side note, my mom has a friend who's family dog ended up dying as a result of eating tampons – there, I just said it – tampons! Apparently the strings got all tangled up in her intestines and they had to put her down. Oy vey!)

Now, this morning, when Ryan went to get Owen up and out of his crib, Owen greeted him by holding his hands out as if to say, "wipe my hands, please," which he often does when he has a mess on them. It became immediately clear to Ryan that the "mess" on his hands was his own poop. He had apparently stuck his hands down his diaper and then touched God-only-knows what else. While Ryan changed and bathed Owen, I removed and washed his sheets and stuffed animals and disinfected all other surfaces within reach of the crib. Yuck #2.

Shortly after this little episode, Kinnick proceeded to puke on the back deck. This, on its own, would not actually be a big deal since my dog pukes rather frequently. But knowing what he had ingested just last night, and adding it to all the other grossness that had just happened, I was starting to feel overwhelmed. So, yuck #3.

And finally (I hope!), Kinnick just came in the house from going potty outside with a little surprise stuck to his fur. (You get this one, too, right?) So, I just finished bathing him (actually, giving him what I call a "butt bath") and there you have yuck #4.

Enough already. It's hard enough to recognize the good work I am trying to do by running this household, especially when stuff like this happens. I am reminded of the verse that hangs over my washing machine (which is currently spin cycling all of O's stuffed animals) that says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..." (Colossians 3:23) Ok Lord, this is for you, I guess! Can't wait to find out the meaning of this one!

Oh, and wasn't the world supposed to come to an end today? What a shame that this is how I spent my final hours on earth. Maybe I'll find the meaning sooner than I thought. (Wink!)


  1. might be gross - but it sure is the reality of life huh! :) hope you are having a better day today. Love you
    BTW - todd was gagging after he read what kinnick did...haha

  2. Love, love, love this post! I'll have to share a few of my yuck stories with you some day, and not over food or coffee! Ah, the joys of parenting!