Monday, April 16, 2012

Allow me just one whiny post, please.

I would just like to post, as a matter of public record, an official apology for all of the times that I secretly (or not so secretly) judged mammas who complained about their pregnancies dragging on and who seemed so desperate to just get the kid out already. I very much had it in my head that these women were just big complainers who needed to have a little patience. I mean, how hard could another week or two really be? Jeesh! Suck it up and give that baby a chance to fully bloom in there, is what I thought, as I rolled my eyes.

This was based on my experience having a beautiful, very comfortable pregnancy that lasted only through 38 weeks with Owen. And still, with this pregnancy, I have felt so great, aside from the typical, but manageable discomforts. That is, until one week ago. One week ago, pretty much the very day I hit 38 weeks, everything changed. All of a sudden, this beautiful, healthy glow and decent amount of energy that I was feeling, crumbled around me and was replaced with pain and major fatigue.

The pain, for me, is in my hip. Well, to be exact, it's in my sacroiliac (or SI) joint and it produces a constant sensation of pain.

Photo via Wikipedia

I had low back pain when I was pregnant with Owen, which I attributed to sitting for long periods at my desk when I was working. And I even experienced what's known as sciatica with that pregnancy. But that kind of pain was treatable. I could go home and stretch it out. Or a good ol' back rub by the hubby would certainly help. The thing about this SI joint is that nothing I've tried seems to work to alleviate the pain. I've been seeing a chiropractor about this issue for most of this pregnancy, as it has come and gone throughout the past nine months. And I actually thought it had pretty much been cured since I was feeling so good the last few weeks.  But one week ago, I was proven wrong.

Now, I wince with every. single. step I take. I mean that literally. I was walking through Wal-mart today to pick up maybe 5 things I needed and by the time I finally made it back to my car, I was sobbing and crying on the phone with Ryan, telling him that I can't possibly take up to two more weeks of this. If I am sitting or laying down, I am generally ok. But standing, walking, or any other kind of movement that even remotely involves my hips creates a very intense pain that just won't go away. After lying on the floor last night trying to find some kind of stretch that would relieve the pressure (I found none), I started to worry about how I could possibly manage labor and delivery of this baby when just lying on my back is so very uncomfortable.

The hardest part about the pain is that a.) I'm not sure when it will end, and b.) I have no plan of action for treating it. I'm hopeful that once this baby is born, my hips will realign back to how they should be — and quickly! — and that will be that. But my fear is that it may take a while for that to happen, or worse, they may be so severely damaged that there may really be something permanently wrong with my hips now. (That's the pain talking, ya'll.) And I am a planner, to a fault. I like to know the "how to" on solving all problems and, this problem, although I've researched it a decent amount online and put my faith in a chiropractor who doesn't seem to be helping much, does not have a clear-cut solution that I can see. And that, my friends, is scary.

The fatigue, I kind of expected. I mean, as of tomorrow, I'm 39 weeks pregnant. I'm gonna feel worn down. But I actually attribute my need for a nap almost every day this past week to the pain, more than the other general weariness of carrying around this extra 25 pounds in my belly. I'm not going to feel too guilty about taking those naps, though. I think it's my body telling me to take it easy.

I generally don't like to fill up the posts on this blog with complaints and negativity. But, it is a journal for me to record what's happening in life and unfortunately, right now, this is a major thing that is happening in mine. It is clouding everything else happening in life and serves as a painful reminder that I should never, EVER judge another woman in the late stages of pregnancy for just wishing that it would all be over. I can honestly say that this baby cannot come soon enough. Sadly, I'm even starting to consider scheduling a c-section just to have an official light at the end of the tunnel. For now, I'm trying to hold on strong, but each day, with the pain getting worse and worse, I am praying for God's hand to heal me, or just help me to manage the pain and get through another day. Please pray for me, too.


  1. grrrrr! i curse lower back pain!! (i have lived with it for a LONG time too and i worry greatly on what will happen when i become pregnant). and unfortunately, it is one of the most common medical complaints and one of the most misunderstood - there are many people who suffer without any good reason why it is happening in the first place, which makes healing/curing the problem very difficult! (sorry for the nurse talk here). i feel sooooooooo badly for you and i totally understand why you need to complain, why you cry and why you are so tired. that baby girl in there is taking up a lot of space, so i pray that when she arrives, you will receive relief. not sure if you can take pain medicine, but motrin helps me. and ice packs are good too. i would definitely take advantage of those nap opportunities while you can. love you and praying for you too!!

    1. Thanks, Rae. I did take some Tylenol this morning at Ryan's insistence. I will probably to call the doctor later today to see if it's ok to continue to do so, but I don't want to do anything that could hinder the labor process from starting. I am just planning to avoid any activities that involve any amount of walking around for a while. (On the agenda today: simple computer work. Thank God for my laptop!) I hope you find the solution to your back pain, too. And thanks for the suggestions and prayers.

  2. I'm sorry that you're in such pain. The end of pregnancy seems to last forever, doesn't it? I wasn't in much pain, just general discomfort, but the way that Will was laying on my bladder, I was up every hour or so to pee. So by the time he was born, I hadn't had a good night's sleep in WEEKS! And like you said, you just don't know when it will end. I felt the same way about labor, too: if I only knew when it was going to end, I could have handled anything, but the not knowing made it seem to last forever. So I'll keep you in my prayers, and hang in there!! It will eventually end, and remember that, 18 years from now, when baby girl is getting ready to graduate high school, this will all be a distant memory :) -Amanda

    1. Thanks, Amanda. At first I thought that maybe this was just a normal part of late pregnancy discomfort, but now I think that I really have something wrong with my hip. I'm just SO hopeful that it will go away right after the baby is born. But my (probably unfounded) fear is that it may actually be fractured or something and won't just disappear like that. Only time will tell, I guess. Every day that passes and I can't do the things I want (or think that I need) to do, like clean my house, or go for walks to try to induce labor, I just try to remind myself instead to take advantage of the opportunity to rest and spend some quality time with the O-man. Trying to stay positive...! Miss you, friend!