Wow, what a difference a month makes! The past four weeks have felt like a chaotic, confusing, emotionally-draining, out-of-control haze. I really hate to describe the first month of our son's life like that, but it is the truth. Looking back on it, I see clearly that I had NO idea what I was doing...and it showed! But the good news (no, make that great news!) is that it now feels like we've got things a bit more under control. I do not mean to say that we've got it all figured out and know exactly what we're doing. But things just feel a whole lot calmer and the future seems much clearer now. I think Owen and I are starting to figure each other out a bit more and we're finally able to begin establishing a real routine (though he still gets final say on how things are going to go), rather than the "survival" mode we've been working under.
Owen is continuing to gain weight - I estimate that he is somewhere in the 8 pound range by now. We are increasing the amount of milk we give him almost every day it seems; he's just so hungry! Breast feeding (in terms of nursing) never did pan out. I am still doing my best to express milk through the breast pump as much as possible so that he can reap the benefits of breast milk. But he does end up getting about 1-2 bottles of formula a day also because I just can't produce quite enough to keep up with him. We'll try to continue with this for a while and reassess the situation in another few weeks.
Emotionally, I am doing MUCH better these days. I will not sugar coat it - I was down, down, down for a few weeks there. And I'm sure I still have some sad moments and days ahead (all part of the postpartum hormones), but as I mentioned above, the future finally seems so much brighter. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. And the past few nights have been especially encouraging; Owen has gone down after each nighttime feeding without needing to be held and rocked for an hour (yes, that's what we were doing prior to this week!), and he's started going about four hours between feedings throughout the night more consistently (an improvement from the 2 1/2 to 3 hours before).
Here are some recent photos:
Tomorrow is Owen's 1 month birthday! We made it through the "newborn" stage!!! HOORAY!