Different as night and day

Before I had children, it never really occurred to me that the personalities of my kids might be vastly different than my own personality. Our personalities might actually clash, even. The truth is, I never thought about my future children's personalities at all. But if I had, I probably would have concluded that they would be similar to my own, or at the very least, their father's.

Only recently have I begun to think that perhaps some of my current struggles with Owen are due to just how different he and I are. Of course, there's the obvious — he's a boy, I'm a girl. He's three, I'm thirty...something. But there's more.

I'm pretty sure that as a child, I did not play the way that Owen plays. Again, I have to take into account that he's a boy, so his preferred toys are things like cars and action figures, whereas mine were baby dolls and Barbies. I liked to cradle those babies, and comb their hair, and dress them up, and (perhaps this is a little TMI) pretend to breast-feed them like I saw my mom and aunts doing with their babies. Owen, on the other hand, loves to crash everything (and I mean everything) into the couch, the walls, other toys, the legs of adults standing nearby, etc. And he's SO LOUD! And, something I find particularly disgusting, he spits a lot, on account of all of his crashing and bashing sound effects.

Ok, so you say he's a boy, that's how boys play. You're probably right. But some boys are also into quietly sitting still to read books, or color and draw, or even watch an age-appropriate movie or television show. I know I liked to do all of those things as a kid. Not Owen. Well, to be honest, he will sit for a few select shows (the 20-minute Disney variety, that is) and, depending on his mood (and how many times he's already seen it), some movies, too. But he is not one who enjoys coloring or art projects, much to my great disappointment. I used to LOVE to color as a kid and was really hoping to share in that activity with my son. I recently moved his little table and chairs out from his bedroom into the living room and put some crayons and coloring books out for him to access whenever he wants. (This was a big leap of faith and I'm still waiting for the day that I find the walls covered in scribbles!) But I was hoping that having easy access to those materials might inspire him to make use of them more often. Instead, he just likes to walk around the house with the bucket filled with crayons and dump them out from time to time.

And speaking of destruction, this child has a nasty way of breaking just about all of his toys in some fashion or another. I distinctly remember being a very careful child. I hate when things break. I take great pride in keeping my possessions neat and tidy. I can recall my mom saying that she didn't have to replace my shoes, for example, nearly as often as my siblings' because I just wasn't hard on stuff. Even to this day, I'm hesitant to lend anything out to anybody because I worry that they won't take as good of care of it as I would. So that's all probably a sign, sadly, that I'm more materialistic than others, which I guess isn't something to boast about.

But Owen on the other hand, is just so rough with things. Here are two examples just from this morning of things that he's destroyed.

Poor, decapitated Jessie. All the other toys are cowering in fear, I'm sure.

Remnants of a small notebook I had given him to draw in. (See, I told you he's not much of an artist!) This was done while I showered today.

And here's one that I happened to photograph last week that's just gross.

Yes, those are raw chicken trimmings that Owen pulled out of the kitchen garbage (among other trash) trying to find a toy that I told him his dad had thrown away (because it, too, was broken).

I think I might start to photograph all of the broken items he brings me just to document how destructive he is. Perhaps we'll all look back on it someday and laugh. Perhaps.

I love my son dearly. (I hope that is evident on this blog.) All of the above is in no way meant to rag on him and I am certainly not seeking advice or calling out for pity here. And it should be noted that there are LOTS of positive ways in which he and I differ. (He wakes up in the morning beaming with enthusiasm, whereas I am grouchy until I get a shower or, these days, at least a cup of coffee.) I just wanted to take a moment to share the realization that I had recently about why he and I have been butting heads so much. I truly think it's because our personalities are so different. But I think I'll keep him anyway!

Preschool Prayers

I recently made a list of the "things I wish I had time to do" since I feel like I just don't have enough hours in the day to do it all. The list looks something like this:

• Exercise (and lose this baby weight)
• Blog — capture, in writing, all the thoughts that flood my head every day (maybe I should journal?)
• Read — stacks of books and magazines I hope to get to someday
• Study the Bible / daily devotion time
• Spend quality time with Ryan — date nights?
• Small household projects — kitchen valance, growth chart (more on that later!), organize closets, basement, etc.

There's more, but you get the idea. So, all this is to say that I appreciate those who still check in on my little blog here from time to time. I realize that since I post so sporadically, it's likely that most of my followers (do I have any of those?) have given up on me, but I assure you, I think about stuff I want to share on here ALLTHETIME! Unfortunately, sitting down to do so doesn't happen nearly as often.

SOOOOO, I have a ton of things I want to talk about, but think that I will focus this post on what is currently banging around in my head (and heart) — Owen's first experience with preschool this week.

All summer long, I've fretted mostly about how Owen will manage to use the toilets at school without any assistance (he still struggles to pull his pants back up after the job is done). And I also thought a little about how he doesn't like to sit still or pay attention to most things for very long, but that is one of the major reasons why I decided to enroll him in the 3-year-old program — in hopes that he will get better about that. Mostly, though, I was just excited about getting a few hours twice a week to myself! And that's pretty much where my concerns ended, until three days ago.

We attended the open house at Owen's school, held the evening before his first day, this past Monday. The idea was just to introduce the kids to their classroom and (I thought) their teacher, too. The school we chose just hired a new 3-year-old preschool teacher only a couple weeks ago, so she is new. (New to this school, but not new to teaching preschool.) I will not use this platform to spread negativity about any individual, but let's just say, I was completely underwhelmed by our first meeting with her.

That night, I sat down with the paperwork that was sent home with us and tried to fill out the "getting to know you" form that asked questions such as, "what are your child's strengths/weaknesses?" and "what do you hope your child will learn this year academically/socially?" I had a tough time filling out that form. As I read through it initially, my head flooded with examples of Owen's weaknesses. But when I put pen to paper, I stopped to really think about how I wanted to answer that question. It was important to me that I listed just as many strengths as weaknesses. I didn't want my negativity to show through on this form and end up influencing his teacher's opinion of him right off the bat. So I enlisted Ryan's help. In the end, I shared that Owen has tremendous language skills, he learns new concepts quickly, asks great questions, plays well with others (keep this one in mind for later), is sweet and very funny, and loves music. However, I also explained that he struggles with focus, can be quite wild at times, tends to be a "copycat" of other kids, and is often difficult to discipline. That all seemed accurate and fair. And the night only ended in a few tears. (I'm telling you, that form was extremely hard for me to complete! Why in the world did they give that to us the night before his first day???)

So, Tuesday morning, I dropped Owen off with excitement and optimism. He seemed in good spirits and he smiled for all my pictures, so things were going well, I thought.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home while Nora napped and I baked banana bread and read from my book (one of my checklist items above! Woo hoo!) And I prayed for him while he was away. I prayed that he would be good and that God would guard his little heart (from fear, from embarrassment, from getting hurt).

When I picked him up, I casually asked his teacher how he did, not really having given any thought at all to what her answer would be. In hindsight, I think I just assumed I would get the same report I usually get when I pick him up from Sunday school or other nursery programs like MOPS — "he did fine." Instead, I heard something like this: "Well, he had some struggles today." Oh, like what? "Well, there was some hitting." As in, he was hitting? "Yes." Oh. "But it's just the first day." Yes, I suppose so. Was there more than that? "Well, yes. He didn't really do very well following directions either." Ok. And in the chaos of all the other parents waiting to sign out their own kids, that was pretty much the abrupt end of our conversation. I felt like an inflated balloon that had been pricked by a pin and all the air rushed out at once until I was a wrinkled, broken mess on the floor. That's how I felt. The huddled mess on the floor didn't actually come until later that day.

The more I thought about what happened, the more upset I got. I certainly don't deny that any of what the teacher said was true. (I'm well aware of my son's poor behavioral tendencies.) I think I let myself get hung up, instead, on his teacher's defeated tone of voice and unhappy facial expressions as she shared her report — which, incidentally, didn't include one single positive thing about Owen's three hours with her. I started to question whether this teacher was a good fit for Owen. Should I enroll him instead in the other preschool that I had my eye on last spring? Would they have teachers that were more enthusiastic and optimistic about kids with poor behavior on the first day?

I still actually don't know the answer to that. I'm considering the other school. But I wanted to give him (and his teacher) another try. So, today was day two of Owen's school career. Unfortunately, when I dropped him off, I discovered that his teacher was out today due to a family illness and he had a substitute. So, I wasn't able to reassess the attitude of his teacher or talk to her anymore about what happened on Tuesday. That was disappointing.

When I picked him up today and asked again how he did, the teacher's aid said, "he did better today." She also went on to say, though, that he scratched a little girl on the playground because she was headed up the ladder and he wanted to go up ahead of her. Ok, so that's better? He only scratched someone today? And that's better? Just how bad was he the other day??? A friend of mine was there to pick up her son right after me and I overheard the aid report, "he did great!" about little C. And my heart shriveled up. Right there, I felt immense jealousy that my friend's son has received two good reports and Owen has received two bad ones. In fact, all the other reports I overheard were positive. Is my kid the only troublemaker in class? How did all these other parents do such a great job prepping their 3-year-olds for the classroom and how (oh, HOW!) did I fail so miserably?

More questions flood my head today. Is Owen not ready for school yet? Does he need another year at home to mature? But would keeping him home help him with his socialization issues or would being in a classroom with other kids help him more? Should we try this other school? Is that really going to be any better? Can I honestly blame my concerns on the teacher's less-than-enthusiastic attitude? Isn't it really that I'm worried Owen is the only one in the class that causes his teachers (and classmates) headaches? And that they'll label him the "problem child?" And truly — if I'm really honest with myself — aren't I actually worried that either, A.) I am doing a horrible job parenting (and disciplining) this child, or B.) there might be something wrong with him? High functioning autism? ADHD?

Worry. Fear. Anxiety. What does God say about these things? This...this, is what he says:

"When anxiety was great within me, your consultation brought joy to my soul." (Psalm 94:19)

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." (Psalm 112:7)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6)

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid." (Psalm 56:3-4)

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." (Psalm 34:4)

And one of my personal favorite verses: "Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." (Psalm 25:4-5)

So I'm praying now. I'm praying hard for the Lord to reveal to me some answers. Praying that he will continue to hold Owen in his loving care and help me decipher the right paths for him here on earth. Praying for wisdom to know how to parent and discipline this child and for the strength and real faith to place my full trust in Him.

I don't know yet what the future holds for Owen or where (or IF!) he will be attending school next week. But I'm confident that God will reveal the right choices in time, so long as I seek Him.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

July musings

It's high time for an update on life here...in a very random (and photo-laden) manner.

We celebrated Owen's 3rd birthday this month with a small family gathering and a Toy Story-themed party. Here's the invitation I designed. (I'm pretty proud of this one, particularly the "Owen is 3" logo I created from scratch!)

Lots of pictures, courtesy of Aunt Jackie (at Jackie Petersen Photography).

I scattered all of O's Toy Story figurines around for decorations and created a couple of banners using a fun font and images I found online. I even attempted a party game (pin-the-parts-on-Mr. Potato-Head), although the birthday boy only played with it for about two minutes and then it just laid in a crumpled pile on the floor for the remainder of the party. And, oh yeah, I drew all those parts free-hand, 'cuz I'm awesome like that! (Ha!)

As you can see, the Batman costume was a big hit!

My alien cupcakes managed to melt in the July humidity (even in my air-conditioned house) so they looked much better the day before the party than they did that day. But they still tasted pretty alien-y and Owen didn't seem to mind at all.

We had fun posing for silly family photos with mustaches. Well, Ryan and I did, anyway. Owen was kind of cranky about it and Nora just seemed indifferent.

Oh, and here's a little interview with the lad (idea via pinterest) that I hope to do with him every year just to see how his answers change. Some of them this year were pretty funny. (Like, this one — What makes you happy? "Green things." Um, ok.)

Now that he's three, I thought I would try to officially assign Owen a few simple household chores. He has started to express interest in putting coins in his piggy bank and is beginning to grasp the concept that you need money to buy things (like toys), so I thought I'd seize the opportunity to start teaching him the value of money. I also plan to set up three jars — give, save, spend — to instill in him the importance of those concepts as well. Anyway, here's the VERY basic chore chart (idea via pinterest) that I created for him. (In all honesty, I would have loved to have gone all cutesy/crafty with the chart, but this is about all I can manage at this stage of life.)

His chores currently include making his bed, feeding the dog, taking the recycling out to the garage, and an opportunity for a bonus chore (at Mom & Dad's discretion), but over time this list will obviously evolve. He understands that he gets a "check mark" whenever he completes one of his chores, but we haven't actually paid him yet (I thought I'd do that once a week — maybe a nickel per check mark?), so the poor boy doesn't truly know the value of a check mark yet. But he sure does get excited about getting one anyway. "Pleeease, can I have a check mark???"

He tried to complete one of his chores (feeding the dog) all by himself the other day. This was the result. (Smile!) At least Kinnick won't be going hungry!

I'm also working on a list of Family Rules that can be posted where Owen can see them (not that he can read yet!) and where I can point to them to remind him when he breaks one. So far, the list includes:

1. Listen and obey
2. Be polite and respectful
3. No unapproved words
4. Say "please," "thank you," "you're welcome," and "excuse me"
5. Be honest
6. Say your prayers
7. Pick up your messes
8. Wash hands after going potty and whenever you're asked
9. No whining or complaining
10. No throwing toys
11. No hitting, kicking, biting, or spitting
12. Ask for help when you need it
13. No quitting — keep trying!

I went through the rules with him once and he seemed to understand...I guess. As much as a 3-year-old can understand these things. But I figure, you've gotta start sometime, right?

Both kids had check-ups at the doctor last week (Nora's 2-month and Owen's 3-year). Their stats are:

Nora — 11 pounds, 7 ounces (60th percentile); 22.5 inches (70th percentile)
Owen — 34.5 pounds (80th percentile), 39.25 inches (or 3 ft., 3.25 in., and 85th percentile)

Nora is still sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed (we moved Owen to his own crib after just a few weeks) mainly because it's more convenient for me when she wakes in the night, but also because I'm worried that she's more likely to wake Owen from her room which is right next door to his. She still gets up once during the night, but that's usually sometime between 6-8 hours after the last time I feed her for the night, so I'm good with that.

She's a very happy baby, smiling all the time. And she's usually very content most of the time. I haven't pushed too hard to establish a formal routine with her yet, but on a good day, things go generally like this: She eats every 3 hours during the day (though I'd like to see that increased to every 4 hours) and then goes to sleep about two hours after that. She does seem to need help getting herself to sleep (rocking, etc.) instead of settling herself to sleep on her own, but we're working on that. And her nap times vary from about 30-90 minutes, depending on the circumstances. At home in her bed, it's usually the former; out and about in the car or stroller, the latter.

I recently thought for the first time since moving into this ranch-style home two years ago that I wished we lived in a two-story house so that I can better separate her from the household noise (i.e., her VERY loud brother) when she's napping. As it is now, she is currently napping in her bassinet in my bathroom with the exhaust fan running and the door closed. Hey, it's working.

She seems to be hitting her milestones much sooner than Owen did. For instance, she was smiling by 3 weeks old (if not sooner) and has already rolled over in both directions. She's gone from tummy to back several times starting at 7 weeks old (actually earlier than that, but I forgot to write it down so we'll go with that). And just last Friday (at 10 weeks), she rolled from back to tummy! She has also been batting at and even pulling toys into her mouth for several weeks now.

Owen truly loves his baby sister and is very sweet with her (most of the time). He insists on "petting" her (i.e., stroking her hair) constantly. And whenever he talks to her, he uses this cute, high-pitched voice to say things like, "Hello baby gurrl," "Ohhh, she's so cute!," "What's wrong baby sister?," and "You laughin' or cryin'?" I think he's really looking forward to when she's old enough to actually play with him. He wants a buddy!

Here's another random photo dump. Sorry for the immensity of them — this is what happens when I don't post anything for an entire month! (Although, if you follow me on Instagram and Facebook, you've probably seen most of the following.)

This is what productivity looks like in my house.

Banana popsicles!

Art in the backyard.

Nora at 1 month — June 2, 2012. 

Tummy time + a running vacuum = napping in the wrong position. But she looks too comfy cozy to flip over.

Zoo day!

Big brother, baby sister.

Art in the backyard, day 2. Sidewalk chalk paint.

 
Picnic in the park.

Finger painting (literally).

Forgot to bring swim trunks to Grandma and Papa's house, but it's ok...we worked it out.

Happy Father's Day, Papa!

Summatime!

Friday night at the pool. We're all smiles!

Someone found her thumb!

 
Feeding the animals some "delicious, brown beans" (aka. "Don't Spill the Beans").

Nora at 2 months — July 2, 2012.

Hot, hot day at the 4th of July parade with cousin Brody.

Snuggling with this sweet bundle of love makes Monday morning a little easier to bear.

I love that all kids, regardless of generation, understand the joy of flipping over and playing with an upside-down Big Wheel.

My little super hero.

Love these people!!!

Good times in the crib.

Those lashes!

More pool-time fun!

Staying cool in the shade.

Lazy Saturday morning cuddles.

Baby socks!

Since I rarely get to finish an entire cup of coffee while it's still hot, I have been enjoying these delicious mock-Frappacinos lately (found on Pinterest). I highly recommend. Yummmmm! (I told you this update was going to be random!)

We are looking into buying a mini-van. Actually, it's a sure thing that we're getting one...it's just a matter of finding a good deal at this point. I was against the idea initially, but now that I've experienced getting around town with two kids in a Toyota Camry for a couple months, I'm fully on board the mini-van train. I can't wait!!!

I guess that's about it from clan Peterson for now. Here's hoping I get the next update out much sooner next time...but let's face it. It will probably be another month or so. Sigh. This should tide you over in the meantime, though. Petersons...out!

We love you to pieces!

I'd like to share a simple little craft I did for each of the dads in my life (and my kids' lives) — my husband, my dad, and my father-in-law.
Here are the materials I used:

• Three 1-quart "cracker" jars from Walmart (I think they were about $4 a piece, but you could probably find something similar at the dollar store)
• Reese's Pieces candies (I ended up needing about twice as much as what you see pictured here to fill all three jars)
• Brown ribbon
• Scotch tape
• This awesome free printable, found on Pinterest (which is where this idea came from, of course!)

And here's the finished product:

The process is pretty self-explanatory. I just dumped the candy into each jar, stuck some brown ribbon around the outside (using simple Scotch tape), and then taped on the little tags that I printed and cut out. And voila!

One for Daddy (Ryan)...

One for Grandpa (Ryan's dad)...

And one for Papa (my dad)...
(There wasn't a "papa" option on the free printable sheet, so I just went with this generic one for him.)

All three of these men have a bit of a sweet tooth, so I think they are going to love them! Happy Father's Day, everyone!