Allow me just one whiny post, please.

I would just like to post, as a matter of public record, an official apology for all of the times that I secretly (or not so secretly) judged mammas who complained about their pregnancies dragging on and who seemed so desperate to just get the kid out already. I very much had it in my head that these women were just big complainers who needed to have a little patience. I mean, how hard could another week or two really be? Jeesh! Suck it up and give that baby a chance to fully bloom in there, is what I thought, as I rolled my eyes.

This was based on my experience having a beautiful, very comfortable pregnancy that lasted only through 38 weeks with Owen. And still, with this pregnancy, I have felt so great, aside from the typical, but manageable discomforts. That is, until one week ago. One week ago, pretty much the very day I hit 38 weeks, everything changed. All of a sudden, this beautiful, healthy glow and decent amount of energy that I was feeling, crumbled around me and was replaced with pain and major fatigue.

The pain, for me, is in my hip. Well, to be exact, it's in my sacroiliac (or SI) joint and it produces a constant sensation of pain.

Photo via Wikipedia

I had low back pain when I was pregnant with Owen, which I attributed to sitting for long periods at my desk when I was working. And I even experienced what's known as sciatica with that pregnancy. But that kind of pain was treatable. I could go home and stretch it out. Or a good ol' back rub by the hubby would certainly help. The thing about this SI joint is that nothing I've tried seems to work to alleviate the pain. I've been seeing a chiropractor about this issue for most of this pregnancy, as it has come and gone throughout the past nine months. And I actually thought it had pretty much been cured since I was feeling so good the last few weeks.  But one week ago, I was proven wrong.

Now, I wince with every. single. step I take. I mean that literally. I was walking through Wal-mart today to pick up maybe 5 things I needed and by the time I finally made it back to my car, I was sobbing and crying on the phone with Ryan, telling him that I can't possibly take up to two more weeks of this. If I am sitting or laying down, I am generally ok. But standing, walking, or any other kind of movement that even remotely involves my hips creates a very intense pain that just won't go away. After lying on the floor last night trying to find some kind of stretch that would relieve the pressure (I found none), I started to worry about how I could possibly manage labor and delivery of this baby when just lying on my back is so very uncomfortable.

The hardest part about the pain is that a.) I'm not sure when it will end, and b.) I have no plan of action for treating it. I'm hopeful that once this baby is born, my hips will realign back to how they should be — and quickly! — and that will be that. But my fear is that it may take a while for that to happen, or worse, they may be so severely damaged that there may really be something permanently wrong with my hips now. (That's the pain talking, ya'll.) And I am a planner, to a fault. I like to know the "how to" on solving all problems and, this problem, although I've researched it a decent amount online and put my faith in a chiropractor who doesn't seem to be helping much, does not have a clear-cut solution that I can see. And that, my friends, is scary.

The fatigue, I kind of expected. I mean, as of tomorrow, I'm 39 weeks pregnant. I'm gonna feel worn down. But I actually attribute my need for a nap almost every day this past week to the pain, more than the other general weariness of carrying around this extra 25 pounds in my belly. I'm not going to feel too guilty about taking those naps, though. I think it's my body telling me to take it easy.

I generally don't like to fill up the posts on this blog with complaints and negativity. But, it is a journal for me to record what's happening in life and unfortunately, right now, this is a major thing that is happening in mine. It is clouding everything else happening in life and serves as a painful reminder that I should never, EVER judge another woman in the late stages of pregnancy for just wishing that it would all be over. I can honestly say that this baby cannot come soon enough. Sadly, I'm even starting to consider scheduling a c-section just to have an official light at the end of the tunnel. For now, I'm trying to hold on strong, but each day, with the pain getting worse and worse, I am praying for God's hand to heal me, or just help me to manage the pain and get through another day. Please pray for me, too.