Welcome to the world, Owen!

Hello loved ones! I'm sure you have all heard the news by now, but Ryan and I were thrilled to welcome baby Owen Ryan into our hearts last Friday, July 10. Sorry for the delayed post (I know a lot of you have been anxious to see some more photos and hear the latest), but life has been a series of ups and downs lately and finding some quiet, reflective time at my computer has been a bit of a challenge. However, as we near the end of Owen's first week of life, I wanted to share a few photos and tidbits.

If you've been following the blog up to now, you know that we were anticipating having a cesarean birth on account of Owen being breech. And you'll also remember that we discovered my amniotic fluid levels were low at the last ultrasound. Well, last Friday, we had another ultrasound scheduled, followed by a visit with the doctor to (we thought) talk about and schedule the c-section. However, there was virtually no measurable amniotic fluid to be found at that time, so the doctor recommended that we go to the hospital and deliver today. Although not completely surprised, we were both taken back and found it hard to believe. In fact, it wasn't until we were in the hospital, me in the gown, answering all the nurse's questions, and prepping for an IV, that it actually sunk in. "Oh my gosh...I'm going to have a baby in just a few short hours!" I will spare you any further details of the delivery, the agonizing process of getting an IV line in, and the rest of our 48 our stay at the hospital...that's probably better suited to an in-person conversation, if you're interested.

Owen weighed 6 pounds, 4 ounces at birth (quite a bit smaller than the doctors predicted just a few weeks ago!) and was 18.75 inches long. He didn't actually get named until early Saturday morning, despite the MANY inquiries from friends and family. Ryan and I were mulling over two choices (it was between Owen and Cole) and wanted to give ourselves that first night to just sleep on it. In the morning, it became abundantly clear (just as I knew it would once we met him) that he is very truly, Owen Ryan Peterson.

We were released on Sunday afternoon and brought Owen to his new home. He seems to like it here pretty well. And we absolutely adore having him here! Like I said, life has been a series of ups and downs since then and I know that is to be expected. We were having some serious challenges getting Owen to sleep at all at night...that is, until last night. I hesitate to say that we've got things corrected because I know it could all change again, but let's just say that I feel more rested today than I have for some time and I'm feeling much more confident that we're headed in the right direction.

Owen visited the pediatrician for the first time yesterday and his weight, although still down from birth (which is typical) is slowly on the rise. I also visited with a lactation consultant (which I highly recommend for new moms!) and got some helpful suggestions and an extremely comforting ear to bend. I was actually feeling a little bit more confused after those two meetings yesterday, but I said a prayer last night asking God to give me the strength and wisdom to make sense of it all and to do what I need to do to provide for Owen. Like always, He came through for me and I felt like last night was a small success!

So, that's the latest. I'm sure there are still lots of challenges ahead. But gazing into those big blue eyes and watching those tiny little fingers and toes just makes my hear soar! I can't wait for what the future holds! Stay tuned...

37 weeks (part 2)

Ok, so I read for a while and then ended up getting some more sleep this morning and am feeling a bit calmer than my last post. I'm guessing it's pretty normal to start losing sleep and worrying about the arrival of the baby, so I'm not going to spend any time reading into any of that. Thanks to those of you who have expressed your concern (Mom and Aunt Debbie!) I still worry that I'm completely unprepared for what lies ahead, but I am feeling a bit less overwhelmed right at the moment.

I've done so much documenting of the current situation in my last few posts that I'll keep this one brief. We had a lovely 4th of July yesterday. Slept in, packed a picnic lunch and took Kinnick for a 2+ mile walk in one of Seattle's gorgeous parks, followed by lunch in the shade overlooking Mt. Rainier. Then, home where we both took a couple-hour nap! And last night we went to a friend's house to watch the fireworks from their porch. I hope everyone out there also had a great holiday!

37 weeks (5:00 a.m.)

It's 5:00 a.m. and I am officially freaking out. It just occurred to me exactly how unprepared I am for this baby. I've had to get up twice in the night to use the bathroom and both times, I found myself thinking about what it will be like to get up twice (or more) in the night to a baby crying and having to figure out what he needs...and how I'm supposed to provide it for him! I mean, obviously there will be middle-of-the-night feedings and diaper changes, which, up until this point, sounded easy enough. But the reality of just how tough that is going to be hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. Not only will I most likely be recovering from major abdominal surgery and will surely have pain and difficulty even getting to an upright position (I'm thinking back to my appendectomy a few years ago and assuming that it will be 4x worse!), but I'm sure I'll be completely sleep deprived, and scared, and just plain clueless.

For instance, am I supposed to document when the baby eats (and how much), and pees/poops (and how much), so that I can keep track of his growth? Ok, that's fine; I like charts and documentation - so where do I find one?

That got me thinking about the couple of books I've read (sort of) and how it touched on stuff like this, but for the life of me, I cannot remember specifically what I'm supposed to do. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even make it completely through either of the two I started and there's another one that I fully intended to read and haven't so much as picked up. I feel like I'm living that recurring dream that I often have where I show up for a college exam only to realize that I haven't attended a single class or read a single chapter and have absolutely no idea how I'm going to "wing it" through the test. I always just thought that dream was some metaphor for feeling overwhelmed about something in life, but right now, it feels extremely literal and I'm having a mild panic attack over it!

I wish that I had the past month to do over again to get myself prepared better mentally. I'm so upset with myself because I feel like I've been slacking off instead of doing the serious cramming that I really should have been doing.

Ok, I'm going to use this time right now to go read up on as much as I can and maybe start taking notes. This is one exam I do NOT want to be unprepared for! I'll try to write more later (and post the picture I took yesterday)...

Versions, non-stress tests, and so much more...

I thought a mid-week update was in order since there's been so much going on and there are so many of you that are anxious to hear the latest. So, here goes...

We met with a doctor on Monday (up to this point, we've just been seeing midwives) to consult about doing a version to get the baby in the correct birthing position. She did an ultrasound to determine baby's exact location - which happens to be "footlong breech" - and at that time, she noticed that there did not seem to be very much amniotic fluid in there with him. So, she sent us down to radiology to do a full ultrasound and have the fluid measured. They also took measurements of the baby's head, torso, and leg to get an estimate for how big he is.

Back up in the doctor's office, we learned that the fluid level is low (the very lowest of the normal range, which I forget what that is exactly), but not quite "abnormally" low. We also discovered that the baby is on the larger size - as of Monday, they estimated him to be about 7 pounds, 6 ounces, which is the 85th percentile for this stage (36 weeks, at that time). That's actually the average size of most babies at birth! Evidently, his torso is the largest part, which is typical for babies of moms with gestational diabetes. (That little fact was extremely disappointing for me to hear because I have been diligent in managing my diet and my blood sugar levels, so I was really expecting to beat the odds of a "big" baby.) And the other thing we discovered, was that the umbilical cord seems to be looped around baby's legs/feet, which are down by my cervix.

That was a lot to take in! The doctor recommended doing a follow-up ultrasound in another week to check the fluid levels again (hopefully they won't continue to drop) and to drink lots of liquids in the meantime. However, she still recommended that we do the version procedure this week. She wanted us to schedule it for Wednesday (when she was on call), but because of a schedule conflict for Ryan, we chose to schedule it for Thursday (today) with another doctor.

So, that was the plan...up until late yesterday afternoon when I got a call from a nurse saying that Dr. Richardson (who was scheduled to perform the version) didn't recommend doing it because it would be too risky. I, of course, panicked at this news and demanded that the doctor call me directly to explain. She basically said that because of the baby's location, the low fluid level, and the umbilical cord around his legs, she couldn't recommend the procedure. Not only did she believe it probably wouldn't be successful, but she thought that there was a higher chance of putting the baby in distress. So, what do we do now?, you ask. Me, too. She recommended that we schedule a fetal non-stress test (NST) today, instead, to make sure the baby's heart rate is still good and to continue those twice a week until delivery.

I just came from the NST appointment, which was actually quite pleasant. I just sat in this nice recliner with my feet up and they had two monitors on my belly - one tracking baby's heart rate and one to measure any contractions I had. (I did have one during the 20 minute test, but if it weren't for the monitors going nuts, I never would have even known!) Apparently, everything looked fine, so that was a relief. And the new plan is this: I will have another NST next Tuesday, and then next Friday, I have the follow-up ultrasound (to check the fluid level), another NST, and an appointment with Dr. Richardson to consult about the almost certain c-section that we'll need to schedule. The nurse guessed that we'll probably schedule the c-section for Thursday, July 16 (two weeks from today) because I will be 39 weeks and 1 day and Dr. Richardson is on call that day. But I won't know that for sure until I meet with her next Friday.

I am still disappointed that I'm facing a c-section instead of a normal delivery, but I do feel a lot better now that we have a specific plan in place. I continue to remind myself that I have done everything I possibly (and safely) can to get this baby to turn, but at this point, it is truly out of my hands (and in God's). The realization that I won't get to experience that amazing moment when they pull the baby out and place him on my chest, in my arms for the first time, makes me tear up every time (even right now). But I know there will be all kinds of other special moments and I'm just so grateful that baby seems to be healthy and we'll both be in good hands. God is so good!

I'll try to post my regular weekend update with a photo in a few days, but I wanted to jot all this down for those of you who have been faithfully following along. Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes. Keep 'em coming!

36 weeks

Why won't this baby turn? I continue to do the "breech tilt" position thing at home (aiming for at least twice a day), I've seen an acupuncturist twice now to do that moxibustion thing (see link for more info), I even had a massage yesterday (although I can't complain one bit about the most relaxing 3 hours at the spa, ever!) But baby seems to be pretty darn comfortable exactly where he is - which currently is head up under my right rib cage, bottom in the opposite lower left, and feet dangling down low, where the head should be. I go tomorrow to meet with a doctor to discuss the ECV procedure I've mentioned in previous posts (also called, version). When I first learned about versions, it seemed like a viable, although unpleasant procedure. But now that it's possibly going to happen this week, I'm quite nervous about it and have tons of questions I need answered satisfactorily before I will agree to it. Hopefully the doctor will be knowledgeable and understanding of my worries.

My list of things to get done before the baby arrives seems to be growing rather than shrinking, even as the weeks remaining are disappearing before my eyes. We did, however, get the crib assembled - in the baby's room - this weekend and plan to get the car seat installed before the day is over, too. Of course, Kinnick (who is healing up nicely from his little accident last weekend) gave both of the new contraptions a spin, but I think you can see in his eyes just how fearful he is of all this strange new baby stuff. Just wait 'til he hears all the crying! : )

35 weeks

So, here we are - only one short month to go. The reality of what is about to happen in our lives is finally sinking in. We started our birthing classes this week, and hearing about ways to work through contractions and labor has probably contributed to that sinking feeling. Don't get me wrong - I am SO excited and can't wait to meet our baby! But that has just been such a distant, almost hypothetical concept up until now. I mean, I know it's going to happen eventually, but it just seemed so far off. And now it is rapidly approaching...yikes...and yay!

My big brother Chuck has been staying with us this week and we've had fun taking him all over Seattle and showing him the sights. I've been proud of myself and my stamina - we've done a lot of walking and, overall, I think I've managed to hang in there pretty well, considering my current condition.

Yesterday, our little Kinnick was attacked by a dog right outside our house. We had to rush him to the emergency vet down in Tacoma and on the drive there, I mentioned to Ryan that this will be a very familiar drive in the not too distant future. (Our hospital is also in Tacoma - about 20 miles away.) And as we sat in the vet's office waiting to hear about our poor little pal's condition, I also commented that I will surely be such a nervous wreck when we inevitably have to rush our baby or toddler to the ER one day. So, I guess it was a good practice run for us, but poor Kinnick is a little worse for the wear, unfortunately. We think he'll survive, though. : )

34 weeks

This has been a fairly quiet week; not much new to report on the baby. Another ultrasound at my appointment on Friday confirmed that he/she is still breech, so I'm continuing my pelvic tilts and other crazy attempts to get baby to turn. So far, nothing seems to be working. I'm starting to come to terms with the idea that I just might have to have a c-section, though I'm still hopeful that it won't come to that. (I have lots of - somewhat unfounded - feelings about having a c-section, but I won't go into that now. In general, it's something I'm really hoping to avoid.) But everyone keeps telling me that babies can turn at any point and I still have plenty of time. So, I'm trying to remain optimistic and hopeful that this baby isn't as stubborn as his/her mother can sometimes be!

Let's see...what else?? I finally washed and put away a few baby clothes, blankets, and towels. That was fun! Sometimes I just go into the drawer with all the onesies and pick up the tiniest one in there, hold it in my hands, and marvel at just how small and adorable our little one is going to be. And now, more than ever, I'm starting to get so anxious to find out if we'll have a little boy or girl. Up until this point, I really haven't thought much about it, but as the weeks creep by, I find myself constantly wondering what this baby will look like and which of the several names we've poured over will eventually fit. I've always kind of maintained the notion that it will be a boy - based on the strong initial feeling I had in the early weeks of pregnancy, plus the fact that everyone else we know seems to be having girls. But lately, I'm starting to get more of a sense that it will be a girl. I've had a few dreams now about baby and in all of them, she's been a girl. According to my midwife, in her experience, dreams seem to be the best indicator of the baby's true gender, so we'll see...

I also celebrated my 31st birthday this past Tuesday. When I was a kid, I always assumed that by my 30s (ugh...my 30s!), I'd already be done having my babies. But as I reflect back, I wouldn't change a single thing - I am truly happy with the course of my life thus far.

In other news, we had a brief visit from Ryan's mom on Friday night and Saturday. She'll be back for a bit longer when she returns from her trip to the Canadian Rockies. And in the meantime, we are very excited to welcome my big brother, Chuck, to Seattle for the first time this coming week! Good times ahead...!